Family: Love & Marriage

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Hi..somewhat related to the topic above...Any thoughts on why pastors do not often preach on couples that have gone thru a divorce and have moved on to marry other people? How these couple are still being used by God and that there is no "shame" or "guilt"...afteall all, our God is one of new beginnings. Not that I am a suporter of divorce but there are so many out there that have gone thru it and the message always seems to be "save your marriage"...what happens if its too late, what happens if one or both are already remarried and love their new partners...is God not going to accept their new relationships? Your thought are welcomed...

sunnyday May 18, 2010 at 4:12 pm Flag as inappropriate

Kerry,
Find a good CHRISTIAN counselor and beg your wife to go with you. I wish I would of done that before I left my marriage because it is a decision I regret every single day. We went to a secular therapist and it was disastrous so don't go that route. She basically told us to do whatever felt good and that my husband should be able to keep and view all the pornography he wanted. Since we had paid about $225 an hour for this advice, my husband used it to justify his addiction to pornography. Anyway, I now believe any marriage can be saved with the right therapy, Christian commitment and humility. Divorce is so painful and hard on kids. I'll pray for you.

Kristine May 17, 2010 at 10:59 pm Flag as inappropriate

I have been married for 6 1/2 years to a man who up until 3 months ago drank 7 days a week from the time he came home until he went to bed. I for years have been telling him how his drinking has made me feel and the strain it has put on our relationship. When we first were married I was a very faithful follower of Christ. He has luke warm at best. Six months ago I started an affair with a married man. This is something I never ever thought I would do but it felt good to be desired by a member of the opposite sex. My husband found out about it by tapping our telephone . We seperated and he stopped drinking is now on fire for the Lord but it feels fake to me. We have been going to a Christian Counselor and my husband told the counselor that the reaason he drank was because I never loved him enough. This broke my heart becasue I did love him faithfully for the vast majority of our marriage and tried very hard to make it work. I have my part in this I should not have stepped outside the bounds of my marriage and I have a huge amount of quilt for this and feel my husband will never be able to forgive me. I have told him that if we don't have trust we have no bases for a marriage and this makes him mad. Last week from a private number he called all my friends trying to find the man I had an affair with and thinks that this is okay. Please pray that I will have wisdom in all of this as well as my husband. I know God hates divorce but our marriage is so far from being what God wants it to be.
Thanks
Tracy

Tracy May 17, 2010 at 1:43 pm Flag as inappropriate

Kerry,
It sounds like there's a lot of issues that are hidden. If a person does not want to be in a relationship any more or seem to have changed, it is the spouses job to find out how to make that person happy again. Will you take her on a date? Ask her? Just because you got married, it doen't mean everything stops. What is the real cause of her drinking? and what have you done to help her? You promised God " in sickness and in health, til death due you part". Have you given this relationship to God? Do you pray for her, as well as for yourself? You can not change her, neither can she change you.. BUT GOD CAN! If she is not saved, it's up to you to do right before her and God. Right now the enemy would like to see this relationship that you have build together,especially with children to end. This is not God's plan and purpose for your family. Call those things that are not as thought they were. Seek God! Humble youself! Theresa

redrose45 May 3, 2010 at 9:02 pm Flag as inappropriate

Kerry,
This makes me think of a time in my marriage about 12 yrs ago that I had built up so much resentment of the things my husband said and did that I had grown cold. I asked God to show him these things and the strangest thing happened. He turned it around on me, showing me all the things I was saying that was putting negativity in our relationship. Don't know if you are familiar with the Love Dare movie but it was really good at showing reality in marriage and how to turn it around. One thing is, it really isn't too late to turn things around just takes alot of patience and prayer. My husband and I have been married to 30 yrs now. It still isn't perfect but we now have fun with each other and making friends with other couples which didn't happen so much when we were growing cold. I will pray for you and your marriage and wish you God's speed and perserverence to see this through. Rita

Rita Estes May 3, 2010 at 3:35 pm Flag as inappropriate

I don't know how to get my wife, very soon to be an ex-wife to see what she is doing and the effect on our and her kids. It seems that she has been unhappy for years and her friends and internet has lead her to beleave that she would be better off without any of us. She drank for years and that seemed to change her, once she stopped drinking she has no love for anyone (here) but others have moved into her life and she can not see the that things seem beter now but can not see for tomorrow. Just don't know which way to turn :(

Kerry

Kerry May 3, 2010 at 12:02 pm Flag as inappropriate