Do you feel genuinely loved, or is there a nagging sense of emptiness in your life that never seems to go away? For some people, the arrival of Valentine's Day brings no assurance of affection, only a reminder that something's missing. When this most basic of life's needs goes unmet, we can easily try to find substitutes to fill the void. In a search for fulfillment, some people enter into unwise or sinful relationships. Others turn to career advancement, the pursuit of success and wealth, endless shopping, or a quest for pleasure. But there is no substitute for genuine love.

As our Creator, God has placed a hunger for love in each of our hearts. But it's a longing that can never be satisfied completely by other people because every human relationship eventually brings disappointment. Only the Lord can fill our empty hearts. And because He doesn't want anyone to feel starved for love, He's made provisions for us to experience the joy and fulfillment only available in a relationship with Jesus Christ. Yet, instead of turning to Him, many people continue to live with the heartache of feeling unloved.

Perhaps you're unsatisfied in your relationships and are longing for more, but you don't really believe it's causing a problem in your life. That's because it's possible to become accustomed to the emptiness and think it's normal. But the symptoms are still there, waiting for you to open your eyes and face them.

Those who feel unloved often have trouble loving themselves. This could be due to feelings of rejection that manifest as a sense of unworthiness. Another symptom is a tendency to be jealous of others who seem to have better relationships than we do. With a focus on what's lacking in our lives, self-pity soon follows. Even when we're with others, we may feel isolated and alone. It just seems like everyone else is satisfied and fulfilled while we're lonely and empty.

The most defeating aspect of being starved for love is that it makes us unable to freely love others. That's because genuine love is a selfless commitment to another person. It flows from a heart seeking to do what is best for someone else. However, if our emotional tank is empty, we'll be on the lookout for someone to meet our needs rather than someone to love. The only solution to this cycle of self-defeat is to let God satisfy us with His love.

That's why we need to understand the characteristics of divine love. First of all, the Lord is the true source of love. The Bible says that God is love-it's His nature. This means it isn't conditioned upon our behavior or lovability (1 John 4:16). Whenever we feel unloved, the problem is our perception. The only way to live securely in God's love is to believe and abide in it. Instead of focusing on our own unworthiness, we need to count His Word as true, accept His love by faith, and filter all our experiences through this truth. The more we get to know the Lord through His Word and prayer, the more we'll abide in His love and feel it surrounding and upholding us. When people fail us, our hearts will find comfort in the guarantee of God's love for us.

Second, His love restores. God's love is not just a warm, fuzzy emotion but is expressive and active. The proof is found in Romans 5:8: 'But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.' He first shows us His love by meeting our most urgent needs-to be forgiven and then restored to fellowship with Him. Once we've entered into that relationship through Christ, He continues to demonstrate His love by restoring us in other ways too. He brings healing to our hurts and sorrows, rebuilds our sense of self-worth, calms our fears with a sense of security, and satisfies our longings until we're emotionally complete.

Third, God's love flows through us to others. The deposit of His love fills the empty places in our hearts, and like a fountain, overflows to the people around us (1 John 4:19). Instead of seeking someone to meet our needs, we'll be able to give sacrificially of ourselves to benefit others. Knowing that we are so deeply loved by God empowers us to forgive those who wrong us, be kind to those who misunderstand or misjudge us, and joyfully reach out to serve and share His love with others.

When I think about my past, I remember my struggle to believe God truly loved me. Assuming that His love was dependent upon my character and behavior, I was on an emotional rollercoaster. I can't describe what a difference it's made in my life since I settled that issue and accepted His amazing, unconditional love for me. Now He gives me an awesome sense of love for people I don't even know. The same thing can happen to you. When He plants His love in your heart, it grows and matures, satisfying your emotional hunger and filling you up to overflowing, so you can express love freely to others.