Letting Go
May 20, 2010 by Jennifer
Comments (10)
Lord, you know I'm struggling with my fiduciary duties as Pers. Rep. for my mother's estate. I've more than earned a fee for 20 months of long distance administration and am trying to carry out my mother's wishes. So how do I deal with my sister who feels she should not have the remaining balance of her loan from our mother deducted from her portion of the estate? I know my mother's intentions and the attorney agrees. Please help me to listen to her emotions and concerns and help her to listen to my fiduciary responsibility to carry out Mom's wishes. I feel confident in what I have done and my explanations, but as you showed me in I Corinthians 6, we, as Christians, should not file lawsuits against one another. I know it was you who brought this scripture to me because in the daily bible readings, I simply thought I would only read the new testatment and switched to "new testatment only", thinking it would show me John 6, but I Corinthians 6 popped up instead! I definitely don't want a lawsuit, but I do struggle with letting go of my feeling "justified" in the fee and the way the inheritance should be split (4 ways) and letting you fight my battles. I know I NEED to trust you, but if I'm honest, my fear is I won't get what I think I earned/deserve and my sister will. More importantly I fear I will resent her and not want a relationship with her. Throughout our lives I feel like I get the "short end" of the stick. We are both Christians, so what's wrong with us? Why can't she accept our mother's intent? Why can't she see how much work this has been and how hard I've tried to "keep the peace" and be fair in everything? Please guide my thoughts, words and actions and give me the courage I need to call her and talk about this. Pour out your Holy Spirit on me, in me, and through me. Let your words be my words and your heart be my heart. Please break our stubborness and bring healing to our family. In Jesus' almighty name I pray! Amen and Amen!
Not sure why this is in the journal section, but I do wish you well. Since you both are Christians, one of you needs to decide who's going to be the MATURE Christian. God will bless you for taking the high road. Much more important to be right in HIS eyes than in your own.
Baby Monkey May 20, 2010 at 5:53 pm Flag as inappropriate
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. Sorry if this was more appropriate for the "prayer request" section. I started out "journaling" for my own purpose to get it written down, but then it asks where to publish it and I thought if it was "public" I might get some insight. What is the "journaling" section for?
Jennifer May 20, 2010 at 6:43 pm Flag as inappropriate
I only meant that since you wrote it as a prayer, it should have been in the prayer section. Many of us there will pray and/or make suggestions. Very few come to both sections, and it seemed as if you were asking for input.
I do wish you well, and pray all will work to the glory of the Father. Bless you.
Baby Monkey May 20, 2010 at 10:32 pm Flag as inappropriate
I apologize that this has been such a time consuming, difficult process for you. I respect all of the time you've extended this situation and truly pray that you will find peace in this trying matter. Money is the route of all evil and it seems to always bring contempt. I respect that you know what your mothers wishes were, however, she obviously trusted you to handle this matter for a reason. I would suggest making some solid decisions. I wish that you had what was truly important...your mother! Money doesn't seem to be the issue at hand, if I'm being honest. I pray that the four of you will look deep and candidly at this situation and decide what the REAL issues at hand are. I would give it to charity before I allowed it cause anymore turmoil. I would also agree with many of the other comments..take the high road and your blessings will be rich!
Beth Bolesta May 21, 2010 at 5:03 am Flag as inappropriate
I apologize, I just re-read your statement and I wanted to share what popped out at me that I failed to add. First and foremost, I do want to appreciate and respect you for your honesty. I mean this with undying respect. It seems that it is all free money to each of you, as it is inheritance. I realize that you spent your own time and even long distance on this matter, but the stress and time lost over dispute is what is actually costing...and it isn't money that it is costing. Additionally, you fear that you won't get what you've earned/deserve and she wants the loan deducted. The way I see it from an outsiders perspective is that it is your mothers money and it is a gift to rach of you. Your mother took care of you while she was raising you and now, even after death is still giving. Honor your mother! We don't deserve anything. Your mother left ya'll this money to make things easier, not to cause problems. Anything you get is all gain, as you mother spent her time and energies to earn this moeny to leave to you. You spent your time on this to fulfill your mothers wishes, right? That is a wonderful gift from you to your mama:-)
Beth Bolesta May 21, 2010 at 5:15 am Flag as inappropriate
Beth, Thank you for your heartfelt response(s) and again to everyone for their prayers--they are helping. My brother has been a great support and we discussed this at length last night and working on a response that respects the emotions (REAL issues) behind it all as well as honoring our mother's wishes--that she was simply trying to be "fair and equal" to all of us. Any income (taxable) or inheritance (non-taxable) received will be tithed because though a gift from my mother, all gifts come from God the Father. Although I haven't yet talked to my sisters, I am feeling more at peace with whatever the outcome will be. Continued prayers would be appreciated and I thank God for allowing me this opportunity to widen my prayer circle.
Jennifer May 21, 2010 at 10:51 am Flag as inappropriate
PRAISE GOD BETH--HE IS ALREADY WORKING WITH YOU ON THIS SITUATION!!
shay1111 May 21, 2010 at 1:02 pm Flag as inappropriate
Jennifer-I am so thankful that you have your brothers support on this matter. Support always makes things a little easier:-) I prayed that you would read my responses with an open mind and heart and I am so glad to log in and see that you requested friendship with me:-) This is a tough matter and it is so easy to take constructive feedback. We are all just giving our opinions and suggestions from an outsiders point of view. You are truly blessed and as u know and as u are currently doing, God wants us to come to him when we need direction. Isn't it amazing what a wonderful gift we are given in Jesus? There is NOTHING we could EVER do to be worthy enough to deserve his gift of eternal life. Just the thought of it is so amazing:-) I'm glad to hear that you are feeling a little better about things and just know that it will ALL work out sweetie:-)
Beth Bolesta May 24, 2010 at 2:19 pm Flag as inappropriate
shay1111
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Just a suggestion--I would just let the loan be deducted. God will bless you far more than you know. I do pray that your sister will break her stubborness-and I pray in Jesus Name that OUR FATHER will bring an answer soon for your family,AMEN.
shay1111 May 20, 2010 at 1:41 pm Flag as inappropriate