Healing
June 20, 2011 by daisymay27
Comments (8)
I pray each day for healing, for God to help me understand why it is that my husband has abandoned us. I struggle with this in so many ways.
When I was 20 years old, I married my first husband. We had a good marriage until our daughter was born, then he spiraled out of control into a drunken state. I stayed with him for five years always praying that God would cure him, that he would drive the devil out of this wonderful man and he would understand that God's love would save all of us. When my children and I were hiding in a closet one night while waiting on the police to remove him from our home again, I gave in and said no more. God's Angels came to me at that moment and lifted all my burdens. I was relieved from the agony and stress that had divulged my life. I'll never forget at that moment how wonderful I felt, there were trials and tribulations through the divorce, but I got through and found what I thought was my humanly reward for the difficult time I went through.
Enter Chris two years later. He had been divorced from his wife who was unfaithful to him. At the time Chris was living with nothing, he was renting a room in my brothers basement, working as a bartender and telling me of his path to destruction. He weighed in at 450lbs when we met, I didnt care. I loved his inner self, I loved the way he treated me and the children. We dated, he would make my lunch, my tea, my coffee, take care of me and the kids. I in turn took care of him, paying for his car to get fixed, working with bill collectors and others to get his credit on track. I helped him through his emotions of weight and addiction to food. We were great together, and our life in the past year finally started to evolve. We both have great jobs, financially secure, good cars and a beautiful home. He had gastric bypass surgery last year as well and our life was never more amazing, we were planning to send my son to college and preping for his high school graduation when my world came crashing down.
We were at a baseball game one night, I noticed a text message from an old girlfriend on his phone. He stood and turned away from me to answer the message. I didnt say anything, hoping that it was just nothing and move on. However, the devil got the best of me the next day and I looked at his phone records only to find that he had been texting her over and over and over again. Pages of her number were everywhere. I was shocked, and called him. We fought for 3 days, him telling me she was just a friend, I was overreacting and that this was nothing more than a friendship. Finally he asked me to meet him after work, I did and he told me he wasnt in love with me anymore, that he loved her and he had been unfaithful to me in only an emotional way. This was on May 9th. Today, the divorce papers are signed and sitting at the Judge's office. I cry every day, I cant believe that I'm not even 40 and looking at my second divorce. The worst of it is, I miss our life so much. So much. Each day all I think about our the love letters and text he would send me every day, telling me how I saved him from the wreckage his life was becoming.
I need strength to move on, I need to have the devil out of my head because of all the negative thoughts going through my mind. I pray for God to help me forigive them both, to help heal me. Help me to reach out to God, help me love again, to be myself again and to quit crying all the time.
Everyone says this is his way, that he moves on quickly and never returns. I saw that in him with many jobs, but never thought he would do this to our wonderful family and relationship. I have to accept this divorce, accept that he is gone from our lives forever. I know this "The Lord will save me, and we will sing with stringed instruments all the days of ourlives in the temple of the Lord" Isaiah 39:2.
Someone else told me that "God will give you as many smooth stones as you need for your slingshot". Today I went to the last place where I saw him in person and picked up some stones and cried. I'm going to remove those stones today, they need to come from a better place in my life.
This is long and I dont know if this is the right place to add this information, so I'm sorry. But I praise anyone who can reach out, make this better and help me understand why I'm suffering so much. I know God has a plan for me, and I need to be strong, but I'm tired of being strong. I'm tired of being alone and tired all the time. I need to focus on the many blessing he has bestowed upon me.
Thank you.Lisa
Praying for your healing Sister... Father will make a way in Jesus' name Amen!! God Bless You!!
Keith Jun 21, 2011 at 5:07 pm Flag as inappropriate
We make plans for ourselves and sometimes we dont get what we want. We try to sought for answers and clues. Then we realize, may be this is God's way of saying to us that His plans are better. (see Proverbs 16:19). God's plan for us is to prosper us and not to harm us, plan to give us hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11). When we are shaken, this may be God's way of reaching to us. You know when we are broken hearted, God is close to us. (Psalm 34:18) All we need to do is seek God with all our hearts and we will find Him.(Jeremiah 29:12) Trully, He is an amazing God. If you are feeling pain and if you feel like your burden is heavy, come to God and He will give us rest. (Matthew 11:27) I hope you find forgiveness in your heart and turn your ways to God. Have faith in Him and continue to pray. You will be fine. You can never imagine how God can bless our lives if we continue to have faith in Hime..
A year ago, I had a similar experience with what you have. I had a five-year relationship with this guy only to find out that he had been cheating for me for two years. I was having problems with my career, my parents were both sick, and my only and younger brother were living a crooked life. I realized in the past five years I no longer had fellowship with God. This incident was the biggest turning point of my life. I tried to reach out to Him. I was hungry for His word. I attended the church, I read the Bible, and communicate with God. God bless me with good friends from church where I can grow spiritually. I am having a stable career. My parents are feeling better. My younger brother is now back to school. I think I am full of God's blessing. Although, I do not have a new relationship yet, but I consider it now as an option rather than a necessity. For now, let us be patient and focus on doing things that would please God. May God bless you and your family. :)
Jun 23, 2011 at 3:45 am Flag as inappropriate
Thank you all for your words and prayers. Each day I feel stronger. Two days in a row have been good days. My daughter..God Bless Her..took my lunch bag out, and wrote John 3:16 on it for me the other day. I know that I'm better now, better to be me. Better because I have the LOVE of God. I woke in the middle of the night, nothing helped me sleep. I'm still awake, even doubling the Ambien, I'm only sleeping 4-5 hours a day. God will make this better. "For I know the Plans I have for you".
daisymay27 Jun 23, 2011 at 6:30 am Flag as inappropriate
Lisa, I don't know you, I don't know what youre going through now and I don't know the pain you have at this moment but you know what, our Lord Jesus Christ knows everything about it. He knows how you feel because He himself He experienced rejection. Rejection from His beloved people, not only one but multitudes of people up to this very generation.. You know how painful is that for Him? That even if He experienced rejection, He didnt gave up. So God knows exactly what youre going through right now, but the Lord said cast all your cares upon Him and he wil sustain you. psalms 55:22. Don't give up Lisa, be strong in the Lord for “but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31. Fight the good fight of faith. The Holy Spirit will be your comforter. Amen!
Myles80 Jun 23, 2011 at 5:02 pm Flag as inappropriate
I will pray for you as well Daisymay. I suppose I would ask you to have faith In Jesus. Read his word and simply give your burdens to him. When I went through this, I asked Jesus to be with me as I tried to hang on to pieces. I finally gave in to reading and studying his word and reading it out loud. I could feel his presence in my darkest moment, I praised his name and prayed, all the sudden I felt as if he took a weight of me. I was able to breath, his word reinforced my strength to deal with life. To this day I read my bible daily. I pray that he will embrace you and give you strength. Look to him and have faith, you are living right now in the moment of hurt and pain, he knows your future, trust in Jesus.
Christella Jun 25, 2011 at 5:30 pm Flag as inappropriate
Hannah
Profile
Friends
Journal
Photo Albums
Prayer Request
Videos
Healing for daisymae/ you have been set free from a liar, a cheater, someone who hasn't the ability to be true. You should be rejoicing because now GOD can and will bring into your life the man of your dreams. A man a mate in life to help accomplish the things that you and your family needs. Your tears are like my tears used to be. i will tell you the truth of what i have lived and know. You have been released from the wrong man a man who cannot give but i just bet he talked about all that he would give because thats common. But do you know the truth is that a man or woman who is constantly telling what they can or will do, is untrue. Because a man of few words is the one of true actions. its like a chirping bird without even a song. Its a liar, why would you want a liar? No of course not, what you are mourning is the friendship and betrayal, for betrayal of any kind hurts. I would cry and cry. like a baby, and the tears were stubborn tears too. You must not let them take you over. This can cause depression, which changes brain chemistry. So now is the time to trust God and thank him for letting you know. And just trust and say okay another liar. i must learn to discern better. God is making you smarter, and stronger. I am sensing this in a great way. Someone wonderful is coming into your life who can benefit your every need. So get prepared mentally and physically it is not a time to slump, and be sad. You are stronger than you think, God wants you to know Him better. Then no one can lie to you because you will know. You will discern it. GOD is very smart and if we allow Him to, He will grow us into strong, lovers of Him. No one can out do GOD. He alone is dependable, trustworthy, and True. Never love any man or anything more than your love for Him. Just say okay, GOD Ya'way, as [ya way], your way is always the better way. So the sooner you say that to God is the Glory, thank you Lord for saving me from another liar. Then you can rest in His arms. and be set free forever from people that will hurt you, and are untrustworthy. i don't feel like scripture would benefit here, only that the devil is a liar and the father of it. And on a personal note, a real man doesn't need help. He should be ashamed to even call himself a man, Is a joke. we all have choices and he chose to lie. This is the 1st day of your good life for you and your son. So go shopping, treat yourself to something nice, and go out. Don't stay home right now too many memories there. You pick yourself up and sweep that house clean of his every dust. Wash everything, do a complete cleaning out of house, of heart and of mind. Then plan your week, and stick to the plan, don't say oh but i don't feel like it. Sweep those sad feelings away, and replace them with determination and belief, that it is a good thing. Have faith and pray and move on. In faith every hour of the day. Never never, give support to the man, it is turned around. A man doesn't let a woman support him. You are too good for such a one who has taken advantage of a woman with a child. You are not alone, there are good angels with you, you just can't see them with the natural eye. So be healed and be blessed, the best is yet to come. I don't know how i know things, i can just read spirits, better after knowing GOD closer, after many years. And i wouldn't have these thoughts on my own. I hope your listening, and willing trade in those ashes, for joy! and gratitude! thank you father GOD, my love.
Hannah Jun 21, 2011 at 2:25 am Flag as inappropriate