Today: 8-12-2010
September 12, 2010 by The Powells
Comments (5)
Today I feel numb. I woke up early in attempts to go to church, but that did not happen. I got the children dressed and myself, ready to leave, but couldnt find my daughters shoes. Not one single pair, I dont know where they went. My husband still laying in bed says he doesnt want to go to church anyway. I pray for his salvation.
I sit on the couch angry. Why do I feel this way so often lately? I dont feel like this when Im out of the house, when I am away from my husband and kids, so why at home? I hate this feeling. I hate being so angry all the time. Use to be a very happy person, not so more lately, what went wrong?
We go to a surprise party for his little sister later in the day, She is turning 21. Everyone excited and giving gifts. We didnt have the money, my husband never paid the baby sitter and owed her almost $200, that is my whole pay check after paying car insurance. I feel sad at the party, like an outsider. They are all excited for her and cooing over the other babies. Why dont they act like that over my kids, never did, guess they dont care. It hurts, no one got me anything for my birthday, which was in july, i dont even think anyone remembered. No one got my husband anything either, I guess they dont care. They are talking about going to the bar in several days to celebrate, I dont drink, I get sadder if I do, plus my husband is going through some issues with that right now.
I go home and talk to an old class mate on the computer about it. I cry acouple tears, then nothing. She says she will pray for me. Lets hope it works.
Wow, today was full of mixed emotions; numbness, anger, and sadness. I hate this, why all the time? Almost every day, I pray for the feeling to go away to find some peace in my life, but that seems to not happen. What am I do wrong?
Lord Jesus, I ask You to break the spirit of depression off this woman and her home. Fill her with joy, Lord, and let her determine to take a stand from this day onward that NOTHING will prevent her from going to Your house. Even if one child goes barefoot or stays home with dad. Work the miracle needed in this home, Lord. In Your name, amen.
Baby Monkey Sep 13, 2010 at 2:11 pm Flag as inappropriate
im praying for you, i can see a root of bitterness in you growing, please learn to forgive those that hurt you and as soon as you feel offended. this is an open door to the enemy to get a foothold in your life and cause utter destruction not only to you but your entire family, renew your mind with the word of God and dont believe the lies of the enemy. pray pray and pray give to the lord, cast all your care on him. the reason im telling you this is because what you have said in your journal is very similar to my wifes feelings and situations, only realized to late and she was so blinded by the enemy to see now she has ran away from the lord, me and our children and doesnt see her way back, it has devestated me and our children, but im believing god for restoration and hoping praying for you to not go the same path. God can help you, just have to let him and surrender to him your self and your feelings and emotions. God bless you.
adam Sep 15, 2010 at 9:48 am Flag as inappropriate
Fight the attacks and agendas of Satan- he will entice you away from God through your emotions and mind. Fight it and turn closer to God no matter what.
"numbness, anger and sadness" is of SATAN. I rebuke it the the NAME OF JESUS. Recieve the things of God and rebuke the filthy leftover. God LOVES you. And God will bring people into your life who LOVE you.
I pray you pick up your chin, sister. I love you...
"Little Darling" Sep 15, 2010 at 12:46 pm Flag as inappropriate
shay1111
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FATHER GOD ASKING IN JESUS NAME TO FILL THIS LIFE WITH JOY,PEACE ONLY YOU CAN GIVE,BLESSINGS OVERFLOWING. TOUCH THIS FAMILY FATHER AND DO A SUPERNATURAL MIRACLE OVER THEIR LIVES AND SEND CHRISTIAN FRIENDS WHO REALLY CARE ABOUT THEM INTO THEIR LIVES. THANK YOU FATHER FOR ALL BLESSINGS,MIRACLES,ANSWERS TO THIS PRAYER IN JESUS NAME,AMEN!!
shay1111 Sep 13, 2010 at 3:08 am Flag as inappropriate