Do I have to call my mom? If so, how often? 

My mom is 74-yrs old, and she lives in another state. We have never had any major fights, but that is because I try to placate her and never confront her. She lives alone and is healthy. She is mean, critical, self-centered, controlling and actually lies a lot. We see each other 3-4 a year, and after *almost* every visit, I am upset for at least a week trying to recover from her "subtle" digs, blatant rude remarks, negative reply to everything, and critical spirit.

I have never wanted to talk to her on the phone because of the above things I mentioned. Also, I really am not and never have been a "phone" person. Now, if she needed me I would drop anything and everything and be there. I spent many days with her helping her recover from knee replacement, and I took her to cataract's appts.

Unless she really needs me, I rather NOT talk to her, but every few months. Recently, I let 2 1/2 weeks go by without calling her and she left me a mean voice mail and told me "it was sad I was too busy to call her" and it's not fair that my sister has to be the one to check on her.

I am not a busy person at all, I simply don't like her and I don't like the way she treats me or anyone, and the more I am around her, the more I dislike her. She thinks senior citizens can do and say whatever they want, and should express discontent in stores, restaurants, anytime and place.

SO............. do I have to call per her expectation because I am commanded to honor and love? Am I supposed to let her impose her will on me? Am I suppose to subject myself to her nasty personality? 

Realize.. she can drive, she has friends, money, etc.. I am not talking about an old frail unhealthy women here.

Thanks for your time reading this and I appreciate your thoughts.